Understanding The Legal Process

Fighting Over Nothing: When Your Ex Just Won't Give In During A Divorce

by Eli Gregory

Divorces get messy. Even when there is nothing for you and your ex to fight about, your ex may make your life miserable during the process. When you have little assets to divide and you have come to an agreement about child custody, your ex can still drag the process out for months while you just want to move on with your life. To maintain your sanity, it is usually necessary to hire a divorce attorney who will be responsible for interacting with your ex so you don't have to. While the process may take longer than normal, the more you can focus on your own life and needs, the easier it will be for you to move on.

Tips for Working with a Difficult Ex During a Divorce 

There's a reason that you and your partner are getting a divorce, and it's important for you to keep this in your mind when the process seems overwhelming. To deal with a difficult ex:

  • Keep interactions to a bare minimum; if children are involved, simple statements regarding their care and needs are sufficient.
  • Don't engage when they try to argue with you; it only makes them argue more.
  • If you have questions, ask an attorney; don't let threats make you panic about your rights to property or your children.
  • Know what you are entitled to and refuse to accept less.
  • Get help from a support group or a therapist; you'll need the help when you are feeling stressed.

When Your Ex Is Fighting Over Nothing

Your ex may want to argue over every fork in the utensil drawer and every CD you ever purchased. Marital property is generally divided in half; although in an equitable distribution state, it is divided by what is deemed fair. Give up on the items that you simply don't care about, and remember that any other small property the two of you own can be bought again. If your ex wants to fight over everything, take yourself out of the equation. Come up with an approximate value of your marital property, and agree to your fair share. Fighting over nothing will just cost you more money and stress in the end.

Don't Give In When It's Important to You

Your ex may try to demand that you get less visitation with the children. If you are not in agreement with their proposal, you have nothing to lose by bringing this part of your agreement in front of a judge. You don't have to give your ex everything they want in a divorce just because they are argumentative. In fact, they will probably find something new to argue about anyway.